Food, and of course vibes, are waiting in Miami. Photo courtesy of The Citadel

Welcome to Miami, Lionel Messi: Here’s Everything to Know About Dining Here (and Where to Eat)

By Matt Meltzer August 10, 2023

Komodo Miami

4 · Southeast Asian · $$$$

Brickell

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The Citadel

4.4 · Foodhall, Rooftop Lounge · $

Little River

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Dear Mr. Lionel Messi,

Welcome to Miami. Or as we say here in South Florida: “Bienvenidos,” which loosely translated means, “Can you believe this humidity?”

While there are a great many things you’ll be getting used to as a new resident of our city, as an elite athlete we can only assume eating is at the top of your list.

Your new home as a member of Inter Miami is DRV PNK Stadium, which you’ll be sharing with a middle school track team. It is conveniently located across the street from a Pollo Tropical. And though no trip to South Florida is complete without making an entire meal out of yuca bites, perhaps you might be inclined to delve a little further into our stellar dining scene? We’ve got you covered.

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There are a great many things you should know before heading out into the Miami restaurant world. We’ve got some great rooftop destinations, for example, like The Citadel or Esmé. But in Miami, restaurants open and close fast. So fast, in fact, you may find a place you like then show up the next week to find it’s been turned into a 47-story condo tower. Their Instagram will offer no explanation other than a cryptic post citing “unforeseen circumstances,” which in Miami is code for “our landlord got a better offer from Lululemon.” There are, of course, exceptions to this rule. Like River Oyster Bar, a beloved Brickell happy hour hot spot that’s been around longer than Alfredo Talavera.

We know sometimes you might want to escape somewhere dark and mysterious where nobody bothers you for selfies. In Miami, nowhere is better for that than Fox’s.

Second, while our local cuisine is full of original, creative ideas and groundbreaking concepts, somehow that inventive spirit did not extend to the naming of restaurants. So you may find it hard to keep track of whether you went to Coyo, Coya, Doya, Buya, Gaia, or Jaya.

Next, while you might be the most famous athlete in the world, you probably won’t be the most famous person at Sexy Fish or Komodo. That honor may well belong to a 20-year-old TikTok star.

A spread at Komodo Miami. Photo courtesy of Komodo

Also, while we have an abundance of great Cuban restaurants like Café La Trova, the best stuff isn’t always found in the parts of Miami where you’d expect to find an international futbol star. Venture to El Major Batido de Hialeah, where the short menu of sandwiches is one of the few things worth braving traffic to Hialeah for. Although … while you’re there you might also want to check out La Fresca Francesca, possibly our favorite French restaurant in Miami.

You may also have noticed as you visit your new friends around South Florida that all of us have this strange green plastic cup with a drawing of middle-aged Leonardo DiCaprio. That’s not actually Leo but Joe Flanigan, founder of Flanigan’s Seafood Bar and Grill and, depending who you ask, the Celtic god of fishing. You may have a World Cup, Mr. Messi, but you won’t truly be a South Floridian unless you have at least six of these cups floating around your house. They can take the cabinet space you used for expensive crystal, as Flanigan’s cups are perfectly acceptable as formal glassware.

The bar at Miami's Café La Trova. — The famous bar at Miami’s Café La Trova. Photo courtesy of Café La Trova

Finally, we know sometimes you might want to escape somewhere dark and mysterious where nobody bothers you for selfies. In Miami, nowhere is better for that than Fox’s, a windowless dive in South Miami that, among other things, was once a brothel. It’s got a fantastic food menu, but most importantly, is full of the kind of people who hang out in a windowless bar at 2 p.m. on a Monday.

So we hope you enjoy your time in Miami, Mr. Messi. We think you’ll find our restaurants can hold their own with Barcelona, Buenos Aires, or wherever it is Crystal Palace plays. We may be a little different, and you may find more people trying to get pictures with their entrées than with you. But with the right mindset, you can savor everything that’s great about dining out in Miami. And if that’s still not cutting it for you, there are plenty of yuca bites right across the street.